I’m depressed, you know. I’m depressed for many things yet nothing at all. I’m depressed I wasted so much time being selfish. I’m depressed for not being “good enough” at things even though I know “practice makes perfect.” I’m depressed because I hurt for reasons here and there. Depressed because of this cruel world and hatred we face. Just depressed. I’m in a funk and working to get out. These last few weeks have been a challenge, and I haven’t been “me,” but it’s all part of life.
I miss when life was more fulfilling. When I felt I was making a difference. When it was all very rewarding. I miss the quality of life that allows for explorations and new adventures instead of feeling stuck in the daily routine society has deemed the norm. Driving down back roads that once brought me joy no longer elicit the same emotions. I’m ready for a change. I’m ready to create a better life. One with meaning. One where I don’t feel so empty inside. One that brings back the happy simplicity and makes me whole.
Everyday I work towards accomplishing a new goal in that direction. Everyday is one step closer. My drive and determination won’t let me down. But for now, it doesn’t stop my eyes from watering randomly and the ever present state I’m in. But I will be ok. I am ok. It’s a phase I go through. A phase of a longing for bigger and better.
But I thought you should know…everyone has struggles, and battles different things. Life has plenty shares of ups and downs but it’s no reason to give up. Rather just a further determination to keep moving forward, no matter how many tears may fall. It’s just a phase remember. Just keep going…