When my alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning these past couple weeks, I’ve almost wanted to cry. Because let’s face it. That’s early. And who wants to be awake at that time anyways?! But I have goals and reaching those goals requires sacrifice. So I jump….crawl…out of bed, take an hour to put myself together and mentally prepare, then head off to my office gym for a workout before starting work at 7.
I won’t lie to you. It’s tough. I lay there each morning with puffy eyes and exhaustion thinking “is this really worth it?” But each time, I get up and go because the answer is simple. Yes. Yes it’s worth it. It’s worth entering into my happy place. My kingdom if you will. It’s worth the smile on my face. It’s worth the difficulties. The aches. The pains. The challenges. It’s worth all those senses of accomplishment I feel. That empowerment that overtakes me. And every compliment I receive and every person I motivate just furthers that worth. Looking back, that’s always been how I felt about it. So why I ever quit fighting for it is beyond me. But that’s in the past.
I was disappointed when I started back in there though. I was disappointed for losing my strength. My definition. My endurance. And the first day, I mentally struggled with it the most. But I didn’t let that control me. I reminded myself of where I started once before and how much progress I made and it was just a matter of time before I got it back. All I had to do was to keep pushing myself. To keep pressing onward and giving it everything I’ve got. That’s how I won then. That’s how I’m going to win now. And you know what?! I’m f***ing winning!
I’m so dang proud of myself and surprised actually. I’ve made such huge strides over the past two weeks and it’s quite amazing. So sitting here thinking about all the days ahead of me, will I continue waking up bright and early despite those tired struggling eyes? You bet your sweet ass I will.
Because I’m a badass. And badasses don’t quit.